Yes, I am here to challenge your perspective. Welcome to the show, I'm here all week... or lifetime, whichever is longer. Please leave your expectations at the door as new ideas are much more easily absorbed without them.
Just finished a debate with a coworker about managing children's Christmas expectations. He was telling me that they didn't know how they were going to handle their daughters meltdown since she will not have a large Christmas this year. I asked him if she was aware that his car just broke down and that sometimes money goes towards the good of the family and not the wants of ONE individual.He said that I was crushing my sons childhood expectations early by not providing a big Christmas for him at 4 years old.
I asked, "What expectations? He's four, and if he begins NOW knowing that Christmas is NOT about presents, then that sets the tone for the years to come. He already knows that in order for Santa to bring him more gifts, he has to give other children the gift of donating the toys he doesnt play with anymore. Christmas is NOT about presents, it's about PRESENCE. It's about family and love and being with one another."
He looked at me like I had three heads and I stated that I am beginning my son early on a road of self-awareness and kindness towards others, not expectations of the world to just hand him whatever he wants, "As an adult, that's not how it works. We dont just go out in the world and expect everything to be handed to us." How the world treats us is a reflection on how we treat the world. If you go out there and demand and throw tantrums, no one is going to treat you well... and if they do out of fear of your tantrums and demands, well then eventually someone like me will cross your path and set you straight... and that's never fun as an adult.
Teach them valuable lessons early and then you don't have to correct behaviors once they've set in. I am not going to do the easy thing and satiate him with gifts and TV time. Thats not what being a parent is about. Is this the easiest way to spend your days with a young child? No, but which is more effective? Redirecting a 4-year-old, or a teenager who thinks they know everything?
My son will not be raised to be a victim of the world, but instead to mold his world based on his actions and reactions.
My son will not be raised to be a victim of the world, but instead to mold his world based on his actions and reactions.
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